50 Funniest Celebrity Tweets of the Year 2013

January 30, 2014

Celebrities have a way of wedging themselves in our hearts. They can make us cry, they can make us hate them and they can make us scratch our heads at some of the bizarre stuff they come up with. Twitter is the perfect place for celebs to try out their one liners and see where it gets them.

1. Josh Groban


Most people think angelic voice, incredible range, but do they think funny? His twitter account is littered with snappy one liners and this tweet may just change your mind. “How many tears does one unknowingly consume at a Gordon Ramsey Restaurant?”

2. Hugh Laurie


Dr. House is a funny man for sure, how funny is the actor off screen? Laurie may be British, but he is anything but stuffy. “Last occupant of this dressing room was Kevin Costner. The air is sweet but manly. I am going to trap some in a can for later.”

3. Daniel Tosh


This funny man is known for his antics both on and off Twitter. His account is littered with off color remarks, but here is one of his cleaner jokes. “Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it’s really ‘Who do you like’ or ‘Awkward sexual task’.”

4. Sally Jessy Raphael


This 90s talk show host has not lost any of her humor. Though she has long since exited from the talk show circuit, she has not left her humor behind. “People ask me if I’m really a drinker. The answer is, I’m a social drinker & since this is social media, I’m probably drinking right now.”

5. Joel Madden


This punk rocker does not seem like the type to shard jokes on Twitter but he certainly does. Being married to Nicole Ritchie must be a trip, here’s how he handles it. “Saw my wife’s To Do List for today, No. 3 on the list: ‘Call Dog Psychic’ Def read that out loud a few times. It was really on the list.”

6. Val Kilmer


One may think Hollywood icon but comedian? This tweet shows that you can teach an old dog new tricks and make a Twitter comic out of anyone. “I once tickled Lou Reed. I regretted it for the longest while as he spoke to me few times after that dinner. But I’m glad now. He needed it.”

7. Jim Gaffigan


This funny man just can’t be stopped. His comedy has kept people in stiches for years and his Twitter account is certifiable proof. “I like to think all pizzas are personal pizzas.”

8. Michael Ian Black


Likewise, his comedy never ends. Though he has spent much of his time humoring us on stations like VH1, he now uses Twitter to show us just how funny he can be. “How many boxes of Girl Scout Samoa cookies is considered a serving size?”

9. Olivia Wilde


This new mama is not lacking on her humor, talent or beauty. “WOW. You guys are awesome. So kind. Thank you thank you thank you! P.S. babies eat mostly salsa right?”

10. Conan O’Brien


This late night host keeps the laughs coming. Be it on stage or off, this funny man cannot be stopped. “If you have a table that you use just for scrapbooking, chances are we don’t agree on what’s funny.”

11. Craig Ferguson


This late night host will not be left out. “Rumors already swirling in Hollywood that the new Pope will replace Leno on NBC @ 11:30.”

12. Alexa Chung


This pretty lady proves that funny and fashion do go together. Though she may look like a model, she can joke with the best of them. “My phone keeps autocorrecting ‘the’ to ‘ye’, as in YE OLD TIMES. I’m going to keep it. Maybe this is what happened to Russell Brand.”

13. Harry Styles


This boy bander proves that you can be funny and hip. He may be the bad boy of One Direction, but he is also the resident comedian. “Thinking about it, I’ve been in Australia for a while now and nobody has put any shrimp on any barbies.”

14. Pete Wentz


This guy hasn’t let his tough guy image get in the way of his humor. This tweet shows us that he is not afraid to make a joke or two. “Gravity makes me want to drink Vodka in space with George Clooney.”

15. Lena Dunham


This Girls star is as funny as they come. It would be a travesty if she wasn’t at least as funny as her character, but this actress has proven she is a million times funnier. “I feel like there are tons of girls in a pit of ice cream & despair going ‘Lance Bass got engaged before me!?”

16. Kathy Griffin


This funny lady is all giggles. Her comedy has kept us in stiches for years and her Twitter account does not disappoint. “I don’t know about you but my conclave is exhausted. Did @CNN just say ‘This new Pope needs no introduction’. Is it Madonna?”

17. Warren Buffet


Not many people expected this mogul to join Twitter, but here was his first tweet. “Warren is in the house.—“

18. Kobe Bryant


Another celebrity no one saw coming. Though he has yet to hit his humor stride, his first tweet was poignant and humorous. “The antisocial has become social. #mambatweets.”

19. Rashida Jones


This funny woman just keeps the laughs coming. Her character on Parks and Recreation is hilarious, how does she measure up. “I wish you could Shazam someone’s face.”

20. Jimmy Fallon


This funny man keeps the laughs coming non stop. There is no doubt that his time on Saturday Night Live certainly did his funny bone some serious good. “Thank you, the day after Thanksgiving, or as the makers of sweatpants call it, ‘the busy season’.”

21. Zach Braff


There is no question, this guy is one of the funniest men in Hollywood. From his time on Scrubs to his movie career, there is no denying that this guy has some comedic chops. “You guys, I just chased a waterfall, don’t do it.”

22. Nicole Richie


Since her husband has already made an appearance on this list, it is only fair that she get a turn. “People who type with their iPhones on loud are Barbarians and probably Killers.”

23. Kelly Oxford


Again, humor and beauty living side by side. This beauty isn’t all body and face, she proves that her brain is just as remarkable as the rest of her with this witty tweet. “Just farted on a wood chair in public but thankfully no one heard it because I have my ear buds in.”

24. Zooey Deschanel


This lovely leading lady keeps the laughs coming on and off screen. Her character on New Girl is funny, but how does this star stand up to the comedic spotlight off stage? “Nonfat milk is like an insult to dairy.”

25. Christine Teigen


This model and wife of John Legend can hold her own on the comedy court. She may be beautiful but that does not mean she cannot also be hilarious. “Shocked myself on a wall socket. I think I am a superhero now but I’m not ready to test it.”

26. Rainn Wilson


He had our side splitting on the office and he continues to please. His Twitter account reads like a list from the Dwight playbook. “’I know let’s put stickers on every piece of fruit sold in America.’-Satan”

27. Lucy Hale


No one can imagine this beauty being anything but talented and funny. This Pretty Little Liars star has taken funny to a whole new level. “If having ranch dressing for breakfast is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.”

28. Jessica Biel


This pretty lady has Justin Timberlake and a great sense of humor. This leading lady is sure to keep both fans and her husband in stiches. “Type the words ‘Twerking in Walmart’ into Google and then have a lovely Friday. You’re welcome.”

29. Bob Saget


This funny man proves he hasn’t lost any of his charms. Though he was somewhat of a fuddy duddy on Full House, he sure can please when it comes to jokes. “Just dropped a friend off at his car. So glad, I had to fart so bad.”

30. Anna Kendrick


This funny lady just can’t stay off this list. “I wish I was a gay man so I could date Tim Gunn.”

31. Kristen Bell


This funny lady and new mom knows how to keep the laughs coming. She may be a mama but that does not mean she has to stop being funny. “At a wedding and the brides grandpa is wearing a dress shirt and sweat pants. Bingo bango grandpa don’t change for nobody.”

32. Anna Kendrick


Ready for round two? “When I misspell a word so bad that there are no suggestions in auto correct a sense of shame follows me all day.”

33. Miley Cyrus


This controversial singer has made plenty of lists, is she funny enough to stand? Her recent actions are questionable enough, but there is no question that she knows how to poke fun at herself. “My karma for clicking on ’10 celebrities with cankles’…. I was on it.”

34. Seth McFarlane


This funny man not only has a great career ahead of him, but a fantastic sense of humor. “Great day with Charlize Theron and Liam Neeson on a million ways to die in the west. As director all I have to do is observe and drink bourbon.”

35. Kim Kardashian


No one is funnier than someone that can poke fun at themselves. Though many people hate her and her family, this tweet is proof that she doesn’t let anyone keep her down. “Do people really think I would wax my daughter’s eyebrows so young? Come on, I would at least wait until she is 2 ½!”

36. Christine Teigen


This funny lady just keeps them coming. She may be a model but that does not mean that she doesn’t know a thing or two about funny. “a puppy could lick it’s tiny paw while riding a unicorn through a river of strawberry quik in a candy forest & @JanuaryJones would still scowl.”

37. Jim Gaffigan


You can’t keep a funny man down. Be it his stand up comedy, on radio remarks or more, he is certainly a funny man to contend with.“You know what is easier than putting on sunscreen? Not going outside.”

38. John Francis Daley


This child star turned adult TV drama star has plenty to say about his Freaks and Geeks days. He may be struggling to live down his childhood stardom, but when it is good why bother? “That picture of me making a stink face as a kid is way more popular than I am.”

39. Ana Gasteyer


I suppose as an alum of Saturday Night Live you must be funny in all aspects of your life. “I can’t think of anything clever for Halloween this year so I guess I’m just gonna go as a middle aged woman with zits again.”

40. Taylor Swift


Most people think all she does is write catchy songs and date everyone in Hollywood. This tweet proves that she can poke fun at herself and still be a popular singer. “@kimkardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labors of all time.”

41. Demi Lovato


This songstress proves that she not only has a killer voice, but also a killer sense of humor. From her tweets about Simon Cowell to her songs about heartbreak, this singer is a great all arounder. “Dear Candy Crush, I feel like you only love me for my money… WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?”

42. Emile Hirsch


This talented actor is better known for his dramatic roles than his comedic ones. “Birds of a feather stick together.’—Taxidermist holding glue.”

43. Brooklyn Decker


This stunner has both beauty and a sense of humor as demonstrated in this tweet. She may be known for her figure but she will be remembered for her great sense of humor. “if you don’t use exclamation points in your texts messages, I’m just gonna go ahead and assume you hate me, & we are no longer friends.”

44. Debby Ryan


This Disney cutie has acting chops and a sense of humor to go along with them. “trying to reverse out of the driveway into direct sunlight is tough but pretty. My rear backup camera is directed by J.J. Abrams.”

45. Miley Cyrus


This little trouble maker just can’t stay out of the limelight. Here is another tweet that proves she is more than just questionable choices. “Ice loves Coco is just so romantic.”

46. Ellen Degeneres


There is no doubt that this daytime host is funny and talented and her Twitter account only documents and confirms those suspicions. “The New Year is just around the corner! In preparation I started writing 2014 on all my checks weeks ago!”

47. Abigail Breslin


Most people remember this precocious tot from her stint on Little Miss Sunshine, she has since grown up to become a very funny young lady. “Going into 2014 let’s just stop lying to ourselves. Kale is gross.”

48. Shia LeBeouf


This controversial star knows that he is at the center of many a Twitter controversy. “2014 Resolution- I need to work on being a less controversial tweeter.”

49. Lisa Kudrow


From her time on Friends to her stellar movie career, there is plenty of proof that this funny lady is certainly the bee’s knees. “Happy New Year other side of the world… you are so ahead of everyone else, good for you.”

50. David Spade


No funny list would be complete without an appearance from this stellar comic. He cannot keep his mouth shut when it comes to hilarious jokes that keep us rolling. “Hey no pictures or videos of fireworks tonight please, thanks. Signed, everyone on facebook and twitter.”